replacement

im currently in michigan and we played a pretty intense bball game tonight. we lost and i've never been so frustrated from a loss, because i played with all my heart and gave it my all, but we just came out underneath in the end. it's been a bad sequence of events lately. first i left import stuff back at home in the locker room, then our hotel room was a sauna so therefore no sleep, plus my bed buddy from the team tends to snore. next we went to target to pick up my replacement stuff, which is expensive at target and the lady wouldn't take my check, because i didn't have my driver's license on me, but the number is on my check already. soooo, we all went to wal-mart instead and got it taken care of. then we lost the game. after the game i was told by my mom that they were going to chicago for this thing for my brother and sister's birthday and they were doing it without me, not only without me but my cousin was going with them instead of me. i have always felt that my siblings like our cousin a lot more than me. i just always feel replaced. i was honest with my feeling too and my mother just said get over it. replacement... doesn't feel good.....

Testing to Testing

my day started with a test and will end with a test. i always wonder if any of this stuff i'm constantly trying to memorize will be of any use to me later in life. will knowing the structure of an atom help me live in Africa some day? being forced to know list after list of information from biology to 10 steps to a good attitude. is it necessary when memorizing scripture to get every comma in it's correct place? does a verse lose its meaning if we leave out a comma? i think i'm just burnt out from school... but then again life is just tests, over and over again. when i move on from the mid-western cornfields to some place like an island in lake victoria in Uganda i will be tested. everyday i will have to survive. no running water or electricity. wow. nothing but bucket showers and creative nights. so i guess i just better buckle down and get used to test... they will never cease to be present in my life.

tech

not sure what to say or where to begin.... i don't even know why i started one of these, maybe because someone told me i should. it seems to be the thing to do these days. when did become so much better to pour your heart out to a lifeless piece of technology instead of another human being. a computer can't love you back or show mercy or grace. a computer can't look you in the eyes and tell you everything will be ok. we are so tightly interconnection without actually being connected. it's a race to see how many friends we have online on facebook or myspace, but pure torture to say hi to someone in passing on the sidewalk. now that i have gone on my rant about all that... i'm posting this blog... haha.. goes against everything i just said, therefore feeding the cirlcle. oh geez...